9 things people commonly think women like in bed, but they actually dont
Men and women are at an emotional stalemate.
We feel something’s lacking in our relationships. The majority of men aren’t able to penetrate their women fully, nor are women fully opening to their men.
Women aren’t opening because men aren’t giving them what they need. Women feel disappointed and resentful; they are suffering. When women suffer, and they feel like they aren’t being seen, they close off to their men.
Fortunately, you can learn the right tools to be able to more fully penetrate your woman. You can give your partner what she needs, allowing her to feel seen so that she will open again.
Take the time to read through these needs. Let them sink in. Understanding what you can do to help your partner fully open will not only improve your relationship, but it will improve your entire life.
Here are the seven things that all women want in a relationship.
1. To Feel Loved
When women feel loved, they relax and open to us. The arguments dissipate, the sex is abundant, and their nurturing feminine energy flows throughout our lives.
Not feeling loved is the subtext of every argument that you and your partner have.
If she is unhappy that you are going out with your friends, or she’s upset about her day at work, or she is only responding to you with brief snippets of sentences, then the cause is most likely her not feeling loved enough.
Learn to see through her words, actions, and moods and see what the real root of it is.
2. To Feel Safe
There is a war being waged on women’s self-esteem, sexuality, and safety from a very young age.
Because of the barrage of disempowering messages being sent to women regarding their sexuality, women need to have a safe space where they feel that they can trust their partners.
She wants to trust your strength. She wants to feel like you can handle whatever she shows you.
She wants to feel like you will not judge her if she asks for something risqué. She wants to know you won’t collapse in defeat if she tells you to do it “This way” instead.
By creating a safe space for your woman to open up to you emotionally and sexually, you will be giving her a very powerful gift- you allow her to grow within your relationship and undo old emotional damage.
3. To Feel Seen
Women want to feel seen.
She wants to feel you hearing her, and being aware of her emotional state.
She doesn’t necessarily want you to be affected by her emotional state, but she does want you to be witness to it.
If she is sitting across the room from you and you aren’t picking up on the fact that she is suffering emotionally and on the verge of tears, she will begin to trust you less. She will think, “If he can’t see that I am hurting now, how long will it take him to figure it out? Will I be suffering for days or weeks before he is aware of it or cares enough to help me through this? I guess I have to rely on myself for my own emotional support.”
Life can seem extremely lonely, even within a relationship. You have to constantly show your partner that at least one person will be witness to her and her journey through life. (Hint: that person is you.)
4. To Be Allowed To Be Nurturing
Just as masculine energy has the need to protect, feminine energy has the desire to nurture.
Women want to see the cracks in our armour. They want to see that we trust them enough to open up to them. They want to be able to help us through our sadness.
An integrated, evolved man who has a balanced masculine energy as well as his own sliver of feminine would welcome his woman’s nurturing.
If you are a guy reading this, have you ever held open a door for a woman because it’s the polite thing to do (but more just because she’s a person and it wasn’t even a gender-based act) and she chews your ear off for it? “Oh what? I can’t open the door for myself because I’m a woman?! You sexist pig!”
That is an example of a wounded, unbalanced woman who doesn’t want to accept help from a masculine source. This is exactly how it feels to your partner when you push her away when you feel the most vulnerable. “I don’t need to lay my head down on your chest and tell you about my feelings because I don’t have any!” That is a lie. It’s a lie that serves your purpose of not letting your partner in. This lack of vulnerability and authenticity is what is making you and your partner suffer.
So let her in. She wants to love you.
Men mess up their relationships in these three specific ways. You have to see this before it’s too late…
Enter your email to get access to this exclusive, limited time video.
5. To Feel Sexually Desired
What’s a major difference between your relationship to your partner and your relationship to everyone else in your life? You have sex with your partner.
They want to make sure that you see and appreciate them as a feminine, sexual being.
Praise her body. Feel her and grab her appreciatively. Remind her that you see her as a sexual being and you will both benefit.
6. To Be Appreciated
The feminine in all people responds primarily to praise and appreciation.
Remind your partner that you love her. Tell her that you appreciate what she brings to your life. Show her how much she means to you.
The fastest way to run your relationship into the ground is by ignoring your partner and taking her for granted. Appreciation is the opposite of those things. Appreciation is the embodying this mindset: “I am aware of what you bring to my life, and I want you to be sure that I am aware of it as well.”
So tell her what you appreciate, and tell her often.
7. To Feel Like She Can Count On You
Life gets pretty messy sometimes.
When life’s unavoidable difficulties arise, do you fall apart under pressure or are you able to bend and not break?
Women want to know that we can handle ourselves when life happens. They want to know that we won’t run and hide when they get a bit ‘too emotional’ for our liking. They want to know that they can count on us.
When you tell your partner you’ll do something, and then you don’t do it, it hurts her. She loses a piece of trust in you that has to be earned back. Even seemingly small things break that trust like you saying that you will wash the dishes shortly after dinner, but washing them the next morning instead.
When enough small transgressions like this are sprinkled throughout your relationship, she will distrust you.
Do what you say you will do, be who you say you are, and be consistent in your actions.
What Do Women Need In A Relationship?
Women want partners that care.
Women don’t want perfect partners; they want men who are striving to be their best selves.
She doesn’t necessarily want someone who has every step of his life pre-planned, but she wants someone with drive and with goals.
She doesn’t necessarily want someone who cries every day, but she does want someone who has the courage to cry in front of her when he needs to.
She doesn’t necessarily want someone who stays in therapy for his entire life.
Ppps. I wrote this article in 2013 and my beliefs have shifted a lot since I wrote it. The biggest difference is that you may notice that none of the above seven things are unique to being female and/or feminine desires or needs. All seven things mentioned above are human needs. Think about that when you read any listicle separating men and women into dichotomous monoliths. Men are people… women are people… and there is a lot more that we have in common than that which we might not overlap in as frequently.