Why Am I Being Ignored?

Is your boyfriend suddenly taking longer to reply when you text him? Is he not responding at all? Are you calling him over and over, and he won’t pick up the phone?

If it’s only been a few hours, then it’s probably not something to worry about. He could just be busy or in the shower. However, if it’s been more than a day or so, and your boyfriend is still acting like you don’t exist, then no one would blame you for being a little concerned.

Assuming that there hasn’t been some kind of emergency, it could be that your boyfriend is ignoring you deliberately. This will be especially clear to you if you notice that he is still active on Facebook or if he’s still hanging out with your other friends. Obviously, if he can be bothered to “like” his brother’s latest status update, but he can’t even respond to your calls, then something is fishy.

What could be wrong, though? Why is your boyfriend ignoring you? Well, there could be literally hundreds of reasons why your boyfriend is ignoring you, but let’s narrow it down to the most common ones. Chances are, he’s ignoring you for some version of the following reasons mentioned below.

9 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You

  1. He’s mad at you and can’t deal with it.
  2. Talking to you brings him down.
  3. You always want something from him.
  4. He feels smothered and needs space.
  5. He is considering a breakup.
  6. He’s preoccupied with something major in his life.
  7. He’s cheating on you.
  8. He hates talking on the phone.
  9. He’s tired of people.

Protip

No matter what the reason is, if your boyfriend is ignoring you, do not try to follow him around and badger him into paying attention to you. Doing so will make you appear needy, and it will drive him away.

1. He’s Mad at You and Can’t Deal With It

Have you ever been mad at someone, but didn’t know how to articulate your feelings, so you just ghosted them for a while? This could very well be the case with your boyfriend.

In particular, if your boyfriend is ignoring you after a fight, then you can pretty safely assume that it has something to do with your argument. It could be that he doesn’t want to jump into all of the negativity again and think about your problems. Naturally, talking to you reminds him of all of that negativity.

It’s kind of like the “gorilla in the room” situation. He can’t see you without the hidden pressure of all of the unsaid things, but he doesn’t want to talk about it, either.

If you want to get him to stop ignoring you, the first thing you need to do is try to remember your last interaction. Were you unpleasant to him? Were you unfair to him? Did you push him to address something that he didn’t want to talk about, and he just clammed up?

While communication is important in a relationship, and arguments are just part of that, it’s important not to get too personal in your fights. Even if he is ignoring you, he is probably reading your texts, so send him a message and tell him that you want to understand his perspective. Invite him to convey his feelings to you in a non-judgmental way, and don’t blame him for what happened between you.

Does this mean that you should act like a doormat? No!

Don’t approach him with profuse, needy apologies. Just tell him that you want to understand the situation.

The same goes if you didn’t have a fight and he seems to be ignoring you for no apparent reason. Contact him and tell him that you want to understand what’s going on. If your boyfriend is ignoring your texts even after you explain your intentions, then he could just need some time to cool off, or it’s something else.

Maybe he’s mad at you for no good reason but expects you to psychically know.

Some people are just like this. Every little thing offends them, and they will never directly tell you about it. Basically, it turns into a huge guessing game trying to figure out why they’re giving you the silent treatment. My advice is to just forget someone like this and ignore him right back.

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2. Talking to You Brings Him Down

“Why is my boyfriend ignoring my texts?”

Maybe because you only text him to complain about your life.

Do you start most of your conversations off with negativity and complaining? This is actually really common. It’s also common to be in denial about it. If your first reaction was, “Oh, no, I’m not a negative person at all!” then look through your text thread with your boyfriend.

What were the last few things that you talked about?

Were they mostly you complaining about something that happened during your day? Do you gossip about people? Do you bring drama into his life? Do you never seem to have anything nice to say?

Even if your boyfriend is the same way, he still might find it draining to talk to someone like this. If you are very negative, consider changing your mental habits—not so much for his sake, but for yours.

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3. You Always Want Something From Him

Are you always asking your boyfriend for lots of favors? Do you ask him to do something for you every time you call? It may be hard to think about this objectively, but you may be asking more of your boyfriend than you realize. Your boyfriend might be ignoring you simply because he doesn’t want to keep helping you with random tasks.

Some guys like doing their girlfriends lots of little favors, but most guys don’t, and some guys really don’t. One good way to tell that a guy doesn’t have that sort of “helpful” personality is if he never asks you for favors either.

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4. He Feels Smothered and Needs Space

This is another common reason why your boyfriend might be ignoring you. It’s not a good reason since he really should be upfront and tell you that he needs space, but a lot of people who are afraid to speak their minds do this.

He could feel suffocated for many reasons. Some of them might not even be your fault necessarily; he could just be the kind of person who needs a lot of time alone, and you’ve been hanging around too often. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by turning you down, so he’s just been ignoring you instead.

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5. He Is Considering a Breakup

It’s sad but true: some people are just too cowardly to tell you the truth, so they decide to “ghost” you instead. It could be that your boyfriend is considering leaving you–or has already decided on it—and rather than having a long, painful conversation with you about it, he’s ignoring you.

He might be contemplating how to tell you, but can’t bring himself to face you in the meantime. He could also just be secretly hoping that you’ll take the hint and disappear from his life.

Obviously, whether someone would do this or not depends on their maturity level and how much they value the relationship. Think back towards the past: has he ever refused to communicate about something before? Did he ever avoid telling you something important because he thought it would hurt your feelings? Have you ever seen him give a friend the cold shoulder rather than discussing the issue?

These could all be signs that he has trouble expressing what he wants openly. If he really is avoiding and ignoring you because he’s too afraid to tell you, then maybe you’re better off single. It sounds terrible, but relationships like these really aren’t worth it.

Why is My Boyfriend Ignoring My Texts?

The last time your boyfriend ignored your texts, what was his excuse?

 

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Why Am I Being Ignored? Is your boyfriend suddenly taking longer to reply when you text him? Is he not responding at all? Are you calling him over and over, and he won't pick up the phone? If it's only been a few hours, then it's probably not something to worry...