10 Signs That Help Recognize Toxic Relationships at the Very Beginning
If you instantly fall in love without really knowing a person, if you can’t stop thinking about someone, if your mood depends entirely on whether your love interest called you today, then you are prone to unhealthy emotional dependence. It is usually a trait of people who don’t have enough love for themselves and feel the need to seek it from the outside. It turns into a vicious circle of toxic relationships, but, fortunately, there is a way out of it.
Emotionally dependent people put their partner on a pedestal and build their whole lives around them. They try to either completely control their partner, or they play the role of the victim while they actually derive pleasure from their own suffering.
Psychotherapist Darlene Lancer writes that true love and emotional dependence are different things and it’s crucial to learn how to tell them apart.
We at Bright Side collected alarming signs that indicate the beginning of unhealthy affection. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of toxic relationships.
10. You immediately think that you have found the love of your life.
There are people who are very amorous and after the first date they race home with feelings of, “This is the perfect person whom I’ve been waiting for all my life!” Unfortunately, it often turns out that this is not so. After meeting someone who gives you butterflies, wait some time until you cool off to see how you feel.
If you find yourself in such a situation, take a break every few days to be on your own and do something that distracts you from thinking about this person.
. You idealize your partner too much.
At the beginning of the relationship, it’s important to listen more than you speak, and the key is to listen carefully. If a person casually says, “I’m not the easiest person…” then most likely, they’re giving you a heads up about something that they know about themselves that you aren’t aware of yet. If something is mentioned in even the most casual manner, don’t overlook it.
There is no need to selflessly reassure people that, “It’s all nonsense! We’ll manage!” When someone throws in “warnings” like these, they actually mean that they don’t think that you’re right for them and they don’t want you around or that they’re ready to continue the relationship only on their terms. These aren’t things that someone who is in love would be feeling or saying, so if you find yourself hearing such phrases more often then not, it may be necessary to either address the issue or consider whether or not you need to be in such a relationship.
8. You neglect friends to please your partner.
Don’t neglect your friends when you enter a relationship. When we first start seeing someone, it’s natural to be focused on this one person and to want to share everything with your friends. But you should keep in mind that your friends want to spend time with you and they don’t necessarily want to spend the whole time listening to stories about the person you’re dating.
Your friends can also have certain feelings about the person you’re seeing, and these feelings are different from yours since their thoughts aren’t clouded by emotions. So it’s better to introduce your partner to your friends early on. Perhaps they will notice something that you haven’t and keep you from immersing yourself in a toxic relationship. If your partner does not want to get acquainted with your friends and relatives, this is a warning sign of the fact that they don’t feel that the relationship is serious.
7. You forget about your hobby.
Don’t forget about your favorite activities and your hobbies. A new person should make your life more interesting and they should add to your life.
An enthusiastic and active person who is interested in many different things is very attractive as a partner. Don’t make your loved one the center of your universe. It’s important to understand that it’s unfair to your partner if you completely depend on them for your happiness, your well-being, and your overall mood.